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But, while there are appropriate circumstances for an ultimatum, you should really save them for serious deal-breaker issues that you can't live with, Derhally says."All other asks of what you need should generally be communicated without an ultimatum," she says.be successful in the right situation, says Lena Aburdene Derhally, MS, LPC, a licensed psychotherapist in Washington, D. She says there are good and bad ultimatums, and it depends how you use them."If an ultimatum is being used as a tool of manipulation or is done as an empty threat, it's not a good thing," she says.“I had no idea…I wasn’t an actress, I didn’t know what was going on, it was just the craziest, wildest thing," she says. “Andy, God, you just go there and you know that I love you and…Uh, yeah. Jenna Dewan Tatum (born Jenna Lee Dewan; December 3, 1980) is an American actress, businesswoman and dancer.She started her career as a backup dancer for Janet Jackson, and later worked with artists including Pink, Missy Elliott, and Christina Aguilera.
A few days later, he came to her room and told her that he "had the chance to be free" but couldn't stop thinking about her. So, if an ultimatum worked for them, could it work for us mortals?
A bad ultimatum would be something that's used to hold control or power over another person in a hurtful, manipulative, and disrespectful way, she says.
For example, if you told your partner, "If you want to be with me, I don't want you hanging out with your friends," that would be unhealthy because you're asserting power over your partner in an unfair way.
If you're not sure if something is "worth it" to bring up to your partner, just remember: "Healthy relationships are ones where you can clearly express yourself and your partner will listen and respect you," she says.
Whether that means setting an ultimatum or just communicating what your boundaries and needs are, know that open communication is something you 100% deserve.